I hope this is the only post you ever read of mine

I usually do not post things like that post that I am about to write on my blog.  Usually, my blog is to keep everyone update on what's going on with our family or to share things that I am learning in my life.  But I feel like this post is something that is really important to share and that maybe someone in Blogland needs to hear it.

If there is one thing that I can say about my life is that I have been through many changes.  Good things, bad things, hard things, happy things.  But the one thing I can say is that nothing in my life would have ANY value without Jesus.  I've tried doing life without giving much regard to God.  I went through a time when I thought I was doing okay on my own.  I have never turned my back on Him, but have put him last on my priority list.  Folks, let me tell you something.  You cannot compare life without Jesus to life with Him. And I'm not talking about going to church most of the time or saying you're a Christian when someone asks you, I'm talking about life WITH Him. Having a relationship with Him.  Making Him a priority.  Reading His word.  Talking to Him.  I look back at my life and the times when I distanced myself from God and it literally makes me sick to my stomach to think about it.  I know if a day goes by now that I am too "wrapped up" in something that seems important that it causes me not to spend time with him, I feel lonely.  I feel a longing inside to be with Him.  And that drives me to spend time with Him everyday.  I know what it is like to try to find happiness in this world.  Through other people, through your job, through having nice things.  It still all leaves you feeling unfulfilled.  There is still always something missing.  Because there is not a single person in this world that can fill the void in your heart and soul that is meant for Jesus.  I promise you.  People will always let you down.  This world will always let you down.  He will NEVER let you down.  Although I chose to follow Jesus when I was a child, I am at a point in my life where I have never felt closer to Him.  And it has changed my perspective on things that I never really gave much thought to before.  It makes me view the world differently.  Our world seems so broken now.  I look at people who are in the same places I have been before and just want to tell them to stop fighting the one thing that will change their life forever.  They don't have to keep feeling let down, or discouraged, or disappointed.  All you have to do is reach out to Him because His hand is ALWAYS extended to you.  And its not about raising your hand at church or following strict rules or giving up things.  I think that is a huge misconception about God.  That following Him means giving up things.  Things that you enjoy.  But I am here to tell you that when you choose to completely give your life to Him, you will find how those things you "loved" pale in comparison to what He gives you.  You WANT to do things for Him.  He doesn't make you.  You CHOOSE to give up things because He is changing your heart.  There is so much freedom in knowing that He loves you so much just the way you are- dirty, broken, sinful - that He would still send His son to die for you.  It isn't something you have to earn or spend your life "paying Him back" for what He has done for you.  It is just grace.  I spent a lot of my life thinking I had to live a certain way to deserve the gift of salvation but that couldn't be further from the truth.  And there are still times when I get discouraged about parts of my life that I wish were different.  But then I look back at the way God has changed my heart and life and I can see that He is changing me into being more like Jesus.  And I am so thankful for that.  I am so thankful that I don't have to be who I was but that I can become who He is.

So please, stop looking.  Stop trying so hard to please people.  Stop trying so hard to find happiness on your own.  This world cannot offer you any of that.  But God can offer you everything.  He will never leave you.  He is always there.  That doesn't mean that your life will magically change and you will never have a care in the world.  It means that when life is hard, He will be there to carry you.  He will help you overcome it.  He will lead you through it.  So if you haven't met Jesus yet, do it.  Just reach out to Him.  I promise you it will be the best thing you will ever do.  Go to Him dirty- He will clean you up.  Go to Him broken- He will put you back together in a new way. 

When I think about how unworthy I am in the eyes of God, I remember that when God looks at me, He sees Jesus.  And because of that I am loved completely.

Don't waste another second.