Okay, I stole that title from the Pioneer Woman. But that's okay, because she is our hero. She has never let me down with a single recipe. And because of that, she is the only other woman that I would allow my husband to spend time with. But only in hopes that she would make us something to eat. Anyway....
I haven't posted in such a long time that I thought I would bring everyone up-to-date on what's going on with our family.
Wes- Back in November, my super smart, super motivated husband got promoted at his job that he has only been at for less than 6 months. And got a pretty nice raise. Not only has this been a financial blessing to our family, but this job is providing some really great opportunities for him in the future with this company.
Me- Not much to report here. I'm enjoying my new line of work staying home and taking care of my two boys. Let me tell you, working full time was easier but not nearly as fun and fulfilling. I can think of no better way that I'd like to be exhausted. I have been feeding my addiction to Pinterest on the side and as a result have been making some delicious food and have a majorly organized house. I have a problem. I really do.
Brian- I cannot say enough about my firstborn, beautiful boy. Excelling at school like you wouldn't believe. Always making friends and will befriend anyone. We make a pretty good team too. I've been teaching him to read here at home and he is just amazing me. He has read 3 books by himself so far. We have about 4 sentences we work on each day which all include the sight word of the week. I love it because I get to be a teacher and who better to have as your star student than your son?
Hudson- Growing. Like. A. Weed. I would be totally fine with him staying this age for a couple of years. He is crawling all over the place, eating like a pig, and about to pop a couple of teeth. I am convinced he is a baby genius because even his pediatrician comments on how early he is doing everything. He babbles and babbles but distinctly can refer to his Ma-ma, Da-da, Bu-ba (Bubba), and his personal favorite, his Bah-bah (bottle). We haven't had a blood check since right after thanksgiving when his number was still a 9 (hallelujah!) and he doesn't go for another appointment until the 25th of February. I am expecting nothing but another good number. He is just my little miracle baby. I am so thankful he is doing so well. I'm hoping that the worst is behind us and his case will end up being mild. I even found a support group on Facebook and although most of the members are from other countries (spherocytosis is most common in people of European descent) it has really been a blessing to me to give and receive encouragement from others dealing with this disorder.
My mom is taking us on a special trip to Disneyland on spring break so Brian can see the new Cars Land. None of us have ever been and so we are so excited! We would never be able to do something like this without my mom's giving heart. Wes and I are planning on acting more like children than our actual children. And I am excited because I am planning on not doing a thing to my hair and wearing a hat all week. Because I can. Because Disneyland is the "happiest place on earth" and that, to me, means a place where you don't have to fix your hair. We are also driving, so please pray for us. Not only for our safety, but also our sanity. Two kids plus Wes and his energy drinks could be a little crazy. We are stopping at the Grand Canyon on the way out to CA and I can't wait to finally see it. Plus, Brian and Hudson get to have their first trip to the beach. I will definitely have a million page blog about his trip, I'm sure...dun, dun, dun... :)
Jessica
Monday, January 28, 2013
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Something to Be Thankful For
This year has come and gone in a blur
of happiness and trials for me. And through each thing that has happened, I have learned how to let go of the things I can't control and trust God more. I can say that this year has brought some of the greatest blessings I never dreamed possible. I have really tried to keep up with my daily thankfulness posts on Facebook but have sadly failed the past week. Not because I don't have anything to be thankful for though! It would take a million blog posts to be able to list everything and even then I'm sure I wouldn't be able to list them all.
I am so thankful to have such a wonderful husband to lead our family. After making the decision that I would stay at home full time once Hudson was born, our income changed pretty drastically less than a month before Hudson was due to arrive. And not in a positive way. But knowing God wanted me home with the boys, Wes refused to let me bear the burden of how to make up the lost income. He looked for a second job, filled out applications and prayed. Literally as we drove home from the hospital with our 5 day old son, he got a call that would change everything for us. God blessed him with a new job and just 3 short months later, promoted him at his new company. We have never been late on a bill or gone without one single time. Even with a gazillion medical bills that we never expected. But God knew. And I believe he honored my husband's faithfulness to our children by his determination to give them their mommy everyday.
I am so thankful for my firstborn. He has blessed me with how much he has grown this year in so many ways. He is excelling at school, growing more compassionate and helpful and is the best big brother. He has been through a lot of big changes in his sweet 5 years on this earth and has just taken them all in stride. One of my greatest joys this year has been watching him nurture his baby brother. "it's okay, Hudson. Big brudder is here. Don't cry." Being away from your mommy for an unexpected week when your brother was born and bring dragged to hospitals and doctor offices all summer isn't much fun but he never once complained. Just always enjoyed being with mom and brother.
I am so thankful for my second and last child I will ever physically bear myself. He has surpassed my expectations as to what having another child would be like. He is the happiest baby in the world. Beautiful in every way. For 9 months I waited impatiently for him to arrive, never ever dreaming that within 24 hours of his birth, I would be praying for his healing. I remember standing with Wes over Hudson's incubator, unable to even hold our son except to feed him, and just laying my hands on him and crying out to God to take care of him. God gave us the most amazing pediatrician who has always taken such good care of Brian and would not stop until she discovered what was wrong with Hudson. She cried when we did and we will always be thankful for her as well as the many other doctors and nurses who have walked with us through Hudson's disorder. God has given Hudson 4 months without a transfusion and that to me is a testimony that I feel honored to be able to share.
I am so thankful for my mom. You can be 31 years old and a mother of two and still never stop needing your mom. I remember a few days after Hudson's birth when he was still pretty critical with the jaundice caused by his disorder. I woke up and just had a hard day. Emotions got the best of me and I couldn't eat or sleep. Just cry. I couldn't even stand without feeling like my legs couldn't hold me up. My mom had been taking care of Brian and hadn't left his side. But she knew I needed her and the hospital door opened and there she was. Just to sit with me. I love that woman so much. I hope I can be half the mother she is to my boys.
These are just a few of the many, many things I have been thankful for this year. Sometimes it is the hardest, most intense times that truly remind us just how blessed we are.
of happiness and trials for me. And through each thing that has happened, I have learned how to let go of the things I can't control and trust God more. I can say that this year has brought some of the greatest blessings I never dreamed possible. I have really tried to keep up with my daily thankfulness posts on Facebook but have sadly failed the past week. Not because I don't have anything to be thankful for though! It would take a million blog posts to be able to list everything and even then I'm sure I wouldn't be able to list them all.
I am so thankful to have such a wonderful husband to lead our family. After making the decision that I would stay at home full time once Hudson was born, our income changed pretty drastically less than a month before Hudson was due to arrive. And not in a positive way. But knowing God wanted me home with the boys, Wes refused to let me bear the burden of how to make up the lost income. He looked for a second job, filled out applications and prayed. Literally as we drove home from the hospital with our 5 day old son, he got a call that would change everything for us. God blessed him with a new job and just 3 short months later, promoted him at his new company. We have never been late on a bill or gone without one single time. Even with a gazillion medical bills that we never expected. But God knew. And I believe he honored my husband's faithfulness to our children by his determination to give them their mommy everyday.
I am so thankful for my firstborn. He has blessed me with how much he has grown this year in so many ways. He is excelling at school, growing more compassionate and helpful and is the best big brother. He has been through a lot of big changes in his sweet 5 years on this earth and has just taken them all in stride. One of my greatest joys this year has been watching him nurture his baby brother. "it's okay, Hudson. Big brudder is here. Don't cry." Being away from your mommy for an unexpected week when your brother was born and bring dragged to hospitals and doctor offices all summer isn't much fun but he never once complained. Just always enjoyed being with mom and brother.
I am so thankful for my second and last child I will ever physically bear myself. He has surpassed my expectations as to what having another child would be like. He is the happiest baby in the world. Beautiful in every way. For 9 months I waited impatiently for him to arrive, never ever dreaming that within 24 hours of his birth, I would be praying for his healing. I remember standing with Wes over Hudson's incubator, unable to even hold our son except to feed him, and just laying my hands on him and crying out to God to take care of him. God gave us the most amazing pediatrician who has always taken such good care of Brian and would not stop until she discovered what was wrong with Hudson. She cried when we did and we will always be thankful for her as well as the many other doctors and nurses who have walked with us through Hudson's disorder. God has given Hudson 4 months without a transfusion and that to me is a testimony that I feel honored to be able to share.
I am so thankful for my mom. You can be 31 years old and a mother of two and still never stop needing your mom. I remember a few days after Hudson's birth when he was still pretty critical with the jaundice caused by his disorder. I woke up and just had a hard day. Emotions got the best of me and I couldn't eat or sleep. Just cry. I couldn't even stand without feeling like my legs couldn't hold me up. My mom had been taking care of Brian and hadn't left his side. But she knew I needed her and the hospital door opened and there she was. Just to sit with me. I love that woman so much. I hope I can be half the mother she is to my boys.
These are just a few of the many, many things I have been thankful for this year. Sometimes it is the hardest, most intense times that truly remind us just how blessed we are.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
I Got A Miracle Today
As many of you know by my Facebook post today, I had to take Hudson to Children's Hospital a week earlier than scheduled to have his hemoglobin checked. One of the signs we have been told to watch for is lethargy that is not normal for Hudson.
That is usually never a problem for my baby. He has been sleeping through the night since he was about 7 weeks old- from about 9pm to 7:30 am (hello! Thank you swaddle blanket!) And because of that long stretch of sleep he is usually wide awake all day long with an occasional cat nap. He usually never naps for more than about 2 hours TOTAL throughout the day. So when he started sleeping a lot during the night and day yesterday, I started to watch him. He slept for about 6 hours during the day yesterday and did his normal nightly stretch of sleep. And then this morning, after only being up about an hour, he fell asleep in the middle of playtime on the floor. That really bothered me. They told us anytime we felt concerned all we had to do was call and schedule a blood check. So when I called and explained to the nurse what he'd been doing, she told me to come in to check. I felt about 99.9% sure that he was going to be transfused. I even packed accordingly. There were 2 main reasons why I felt this way 1)His count had dropped last week and 2) It has been well over a month since his last one, which is the longest we've gone. I was worried about how he was acting because I was afraid we might have let it get too low because he has never shown those symptoms before. But I was not worried about the outcome. I knew what would happen to make him better. I even prayed and thanked God that we were blessed enough to have access to blood transfusions when he needed them and that He had given us great doctors who would let me come by and get a blood test anytime I had concerns.
From the second we got to the office, it was completely packed with patients. It took a while to even be called back to draw blood (which, by the way, marks the 3rd time Hudson has not cried at all. Yay!). So then Hudson and I went back to the waiting area and I waited while Hudson was being nosy looking around and drooling all over my shirt. A nurse came out and called us back to give us the results which in my mind is never a good sign. I was even thinking to myself how it was too late in the day to start the 6-8 hour transfusion process and that we would probably have to come back tomorrow.
We sat down and what came out of her mouth shocked me- but in the best way possible. HUDSONS BLOOD COUNT HAD ACTUALLY GONE UP. On its own WITHOUT a transfusion. From an 8.2 to an 8.7! I knew it could hold steady at a number because that is what the doctor said we were hoping for but they never said it could actually go up without a transfusion! The nurse explained that his body is starting to do what it is supposed to do and that it can actually fluctuate like that. She said that his fatigue was probably just a normal growth spurt (he was probably trying to reach 14 pounds before his next visit). She also said they do so many blood checks to get a baseline of what is going to be normal for him. So it may or may not go down again by next week when we go back. In my opinion, what happened today was a miracle. And I am fully expecting to go back on Monday and have the number just the same or even higher. God is healing our baby's body by letting him maintain the blood which is difficult for him to hold onto! Even if the doctors say that can happen, in my book it is a miracle. I have a feeling in my heart that maybe just maybe the transfusion we received on July 31 just might be the last one we will need for a while unless he catches something and gets sick (common childhood illnesses can make his blood count drop. So I will continue being the germophobe mom that I have been!). I can't wait to share with Hudson the story of how God worked a miracle in his life on the day he turned 3 months old (and all the little miracles and victories in between!).
That is usually never a problem for my baby. He has been sleeping through the night since he was about 7 weeks old- from about 9pm to 7:30 am (hello! Thank you swaddle blanket!) And because of that long stretch of sleep he is usually wide awake all day long with an occasional cat nap. He usually never naps for more than about 2 hours TOTAL throughout the day. So when he started sleeping a lot during the night and day yesterday, I started to watch him. He slept for about 6 hours during the day yesterday and did his normal nightly stretch of sleep. And then this morning, after only being up about an hour, he fell asleep in the middle of playtime on the floor. That really bothered me. They told us anytime we felt concerned all we had to do was call and schedule a blood check. So when I called and explained to the nurse what he'd been doing, she told me to come in to check. I felt about 99.9% sure that he was going to be transfused. I even packed accordingly. There were 2 main reasons why I felt this way 1)His count had dropped last week and 2) It has been well over a month since his last one, which is the longest we've gone. I was worried about how he was acting because I was afraid we might have let it get too low because he has never shown those symptoms before. But I was not worried about the outcome. I knew what would happen to make him better. I even prayed and thanked God that we were blessed enough to have access to blood transfusions when he needed them and that He had given us great doctors who would let me come by and get a blood test anytime I had concerns.
From the second we got to the office, it was completely packed with patients. It took a while to even be called back to draw blood (which, by the way, marks the 3rd time Hudson has not cried at all. Yay!). So then Hudson and I went back to the waiting area and I waited while Hudson was being nosy looking around and drooling all over my shirt. A nurse came out and called us back to give us the results which in my mind is never a good sign. I was even thinking to myself how it was too late in the day to start the 6-8 hour transfusion process and that we would probably have to come back tomorrow.
We sat down and what came out of her mouth shocked me- but in the best way possible. HUDSONS BLOOD COUNT HAD ACTUALLY GONE UP. On its own WITHOUT a transfusion. From an 8.2 to an 8.7! I knew it could hold steady at a number because that is what the doctor said we were hoping for but they never said it could actually go up without a transfusion! The nurse explained that his body is starting to do what it is supposed to do and that it can actually fluctuate like that. She said that his fatigue was probably just a normal growth spurt (he was probably trying to reach 14 pounds before his next visit). She also said they do so many blood checks to get a baseline of what is going to be normal for him. So it may or may not go down again by next week when we go back. In my opinion, what happened today was a miracle. And I am fully expecting to go back on Monday and have the number just the same or even higher. God is healing our baby's body by letting him maintain the blood which is difficult for him to hold onto! Even if the doctors say that can happen, in my book it is a miracle. I have a feeling in my heart that maybe just maybe the transfusion we received on July 31 just might be the last one we will need for a while unless he catches something and gets sick (common childhood illnesses can make his blood count drop. So I will continue being the germophobe mom that I have been!). I can't wait to share with Hudson the story of how God worked a miracle in his life on the day he turned 3 months old (and all the little miracles and victories in between!).
Thursday, August 30, 2012
A Perfect Match
Sometimes I can't help but sit and think about my life now and the way it used to be. I have always been very blessed, even through my hardest times I have always had so much more than some people do. But my life has now genuinely become the "fairy tale" I've always dreamed for. Is my life perfect? No way. Do I have everything I need and more? Yes. Do I have tons of money and not a care in the world? Definitely no. But now even more than ever in my life I have realized that less is sometimes more. We are a one income family now with a whopping pile of medical bills that will probably not be ending for quite a while. But we pay our bills every month and have even somehow managed to start chipping away at those bills because God has provided for us. My nearly 3 month old baby has already faced some giant challenge in his short life so far and God is blessing us with his continual improvement. I have always known I was super-blessed in the area of family but everyday just confirms to me that the amazing family I have is rare and greatly treasured. I have a mom who is my biggest fan and my closest friend. I have two beautiful sons that I have the honor and privilege to stay home with now and make the kind of impact on their lives that I prayed I would have the opportunity for. And I have a husband who has proved far beyond my wildest dreams of the perfect man for me.
Let me tell you, God truly does know who will be our perfect match. We can spend our lives searching for that "perfect person" that meets every requirement we have set for ourselves and we can even try to force the issue if we falsely think we've found that person but find that they actually need a little help in actually becoming that right person. I can remember so many days of feeling sorry for myself because I was alone while watching so many people around me so happy with their own families. Those days would produce the "oh, I will never find anyone. I have a kid and no man will want a part of that." Blah, blah, blah. How much time did I waste focusing on the wrong things? It was only when I stopped trying to control my own destiny that God was able to take my mess and make it into something beautiful. At that time, even though I didn't know, he was getting my perfect match ready. Just like he was working on me, weeding out the things that we needed to let go of or get rid of so that we would be ready when He decided that the timing was right. Being the eternal optimist that I am- yeah, right- I never really believed that I would ever truly get what I had always hoped and prayed for. I wrongly believed from my past experiences that I would end up having to compromise on something. But God doesn't work that way. If you really just submit to His plan, He will give you the very best He has for you.
My husband is exceptional. He is unlike anyone I have ever known. He is be funniest person I have ever been around. Seriously. His sense of humor matches up so perfectly with mine. I genuinely laugh at him and trust me, they are never sympathy laughs. He is so sensitive and nurturing to me. Even if he doesn't understand the way I am sometimes, he supports me and shows genuine concern for my feelings. He is obsessed with the Food Network just like me and is the only person I can think of who I can sit and watch hours of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives and be completely entertained while at the same time plan every single one of our future vacations together based on where we can eat the best food. We can spend hours shopping. Yes, I said shopping. I REALLY feel like I hit the jackpot on that one. And we talk. Really talk. All the time. About anything an everything. He is my best friend and I can't stand spending one night away from him.
But above all of those wonderful things and a million more that I could write about, He loves me with the love of Christ. The other morning I thought I was dreaming that he was standing next to our bed talking to me with his hand on me. But I wasn't dreaming and he wasn't just talking. He was praying over me before he left for work for he day. He would not hesitate one second to lay down his life for me our our children. He is not just standing by watching me raise Brian because he is "mine" but he
is actually investing in my son's life. He doesn't always get the credit at being Brian's dad from everyone else but he is a father in every sense of the word. He wants him to be successful and change the world someday. Brian isn't just mine anymore, he is ours. He works hard at his job, wanting to advance and make the most l every situation so that he can provide the best life for us and allow me to stay home. He never complains about why He has to do; he does it joyfully. And at the end of the day he is never too tired to get on the floor and play trains with Brian or do the dishes for me after dinner to give me a break. I love that man and he is my dream come true. Our marriage isn't perfect, but we love each other deeply and strive to put God first. And because of that, He has blessed us with a pretty perfect life in my opinion.
So my life has changed in a way that makes me want to tell everyone of God's goodness and faithfulness. Trust me, my life has been so much better in His hands than in my own.
Let me tell you, God truly does know who will be our perfect match. We can spend our lives searching for that "perfect person" that meets every requirement we have set for ourselves and we can even try to force the issue if we falsely think we've found that person but find that they actually need a little help in actually becoming that right person. I can remember so many days of feeling sorry for myself because I was alone while watching so many people around me so happy with their own families. Those days would produce the "oh, I will never find anyone. I have a kid and no man will want a part of that." Blah, blah, blah. How much time did I waste focusing on the wrong things? It was only when I stopped trying to control my own destiny that God was able to take my mess and make it into something beautiful. At that time, even though I didn't know, he was getting my perfect match ready. Just like he was working on me, weeding out the things that we needed to let go of or get rid of so that we would be ready when He decided that the timing was right. Being the eternal optimist that I am- yeah, right- I never really believed that I would ever truly get what I had always hoped and prayed for. I wrongly believed from my past experiences that I would end up having to compromise on something. But God doesn't work that way. If you really just submit to His plan, He will give you the very best He has for you.
My husband is exceptional. He is unlike anyone I have ever known. He is be funniest person I have ever been around. Seriously. His sense of humor matches up so perfectly with mine. I genuinely laugh at him and trust me, they are never sympathy laughs. He is so sensitive and nurturing to me. Even if he doesn't understand the way I am sometimes, he supports me and shows genuine concern for my feelings. He is obsessed with the Food Network just like me and is the only person I can think of who I can sit and watch hours of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives and be completely entertained while at the same time plan every single one of our future vacations together based on where we can eat the best food. We can spend hours shopping. Yes, I said shopping. I REALLY feel like I hit the jackpot on that one. And we talk. Really talk. All the time. About anything an everything. He is my best friend and I can't stand spending one night away from him.
But above all of those wonderful things and a million more that I could write about, He loves me with the love of Christ. The other morning I thought I was dreaming that he was standing next to our bed talking to me with his hand on me. But I wasn't dreaming and he wasn't just talking. He was praying over me before he left for work for he day. He would not hesitate one second to lay down his life for me our our children. He is not just standing by watching me raise Brian because he is "mine" but he
is actually investing in my son's life. He doesn't always get the credit at being Brian's dad from everyone else but he is a father in every sense of the word. He wants him to be successful and change the world someday. Brian isn't just mine anymore, he is ours. He works hard at his job, wanting to advance and make the most l every situation so that he can provide the best life for us and allow me to stay home. He never complains about why He has to do; he does it joyfully. And at the end of the day he is never too tired to get on the floor and play trains with Brian or do the dishes for me after dinner to give me a break. I love that man and he is my dream come true. Our marriage isn't perfect, but we love each other deeply and strive to put God first. And because of that, He has blessed us with a pretty perfect life in my opinion.
So my life has changed in a way that makes me want to tell everyone of God's goodness and faithfulness. Trust me, my life has been so much better in His hands than in my own.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Seam of Sky
I love reading blogs. They are what inspired me to start one. One of my favorites is by Angie Smith, a Christian author whose books I love. She posted a story today that I wanted to share.
Seam of Sky
Yesterday was our first day on the beach.
I’m not sure if you know this, but it takes approximately a year and a half to prepare 9 people for a beach day.
My mother in law made sandwiches, I was on bathing suit duty, and Todd and Dan made sure the bikes were rigged up and ready to go.
Eventually we all piled in and started the few-miles-long trek to the ocean.
I was the most excited about Charlotte, because she’s old enough to enjoy it this year and I couldn’t wait to see how she responded to the waves and wet sand.
As we rode, we kept an eye on the sky.
It wasn’t looking ideal.
Still, we pressed on.
As we neared the spot where we park our bikes, a light drizzle started. Nobody acknowledged it, I think in an attempt to pretend it was actually a gorgeous day.
We unloaded, started setting up, and I put Charlotte’s arm floaties on her.
“Charlotte, want to go see the water?”
The rain was picking up, but I didn’t care. I had this in my mind and I was going to imagine it was ideal. She started walking, but after feeling the sand in her toes she lifted her arms to me and said, “Momma hold you.”
I picked her up and walked to where the water had dampened the sand. I set her down again and made a smily face so she would see that this is actually a sensation we pay good money for, so go ahead and get your feet dirty.
She stood for a second and then stepped forward, watching behind her as her feet made little imprints.
“Mommy! Mommy!” Abby and Ellie were running toward us, and in a flash they ran past and tucked themselves in the water.
It wasn’t a light drizzle anymore.
In a matter of seconds, it had turned to a cold, angry rain. It was pelting us, willing us to turn back, and yet we walked.
I lifted my rain-speckled sunglasses away from my eyes, turned my head in the opposite direction of the wind, and laughed at Charlotte so she would see that we thought this was funny, not scary. She smiled too and kept walking.
“Momma hold the hand.” I reached down and grabbed her tiny hand as our toes touched the cold water. It lapped up on her and immediately she turned as if she were going to run back, but curiosity got the better of her and she stayed. So we stood, shin-deep in the waves as the storm dripped down from the heavens.
Hair glued to my face, white sundress soaked over my swimsuit, lips salty from covering my mouth in laughter.
And that’s when it happened.
I turned, just for an instant to see if Todd was coming down the beach, and when I did, I noticed the most peculiar thing.
The beach was full of people. Hundreds of them.
And not a single one moved.
Umbrellas raised, conversations full, and children making sand figures.
And all the while, the bitter rain fell.
In fact, it got worse as I watched them. Occasionally a few would turn their heads from the direction it was blowing, but no towels were packed, no babies bundled.
They were unmoved.
How ridiculous.
Or so it seemed.
What would make an entire beach full of people brave a thunderstorm on a damp beach? Were they desperate for sunshine, and willing their minds to see it? Just unfeeling?
From your vantage point in this story, you can’t see what we could see.
The clouds, rolling quickly to the left, and just beyond, a patch of the bluest sky imaginable.
We knew it would pass, and in a matter of minutes.
I couldn’t help but think it did look ridiculous. Well, if you didn’t know what was coming, at least.
But we do.
This is temporary.
The news tells us buildings are swimming in fire and children are left alone to die.
The paycheck is just short of covering what we needed it to.
The goodbye lasted longer than our breath could carry us.
We feel the rain, and it is cold.
We thought it would be a beautiful day, but that isn’t always the way it goes here.
And yet, we remain unmoved.
To a watching world, it must seem crazy. I’m not saying I don’t understand. How could all of these people go on? Why not pack up and call it a day? Assume that we had been forsaken?
And here we are, the bride of Christ, facing the storm with a drenched smile.
Because we know what they might not.
And as they watch on, the best we can do is point to the blue sky, crawling closer every moment. We can tell them it will be worth it. It isn’t over.
Hold your breath if you have to.
Shield your face, if ever so slightly.
But don’t you dare move. It’s exquisite just around the corner. Not just a patch of sky, but hope itself.
They say it’s ridiculous, I’m sure.
But from my vantage point, it’s only a matter of time.
There is a definitive line in the sky, where dark cloud kisses white and weather succumbs to grace.
A seam between the ages.
A promise made, intended to be kept.
And always behind the storm, a voice whispers from eternity: It is worth the wait, love.
And so we remain, eyes soaked with tears and rain.
Believing beyond our momentary affliction that all-consuming glory is near.
It is so near, love.
Come, Lord Jesus...quickly.
(from angiesmithonline.com)
Seam of Sky
Yesterday was our first day on the beach.
I’m not sure if you know this, but it takes approximately a year and a half to prepare 9 people for a beach day.
My mother in law made sandwiches, I was on bathing suit duty, and Todd and Dan made sure the bikes were rigged up and ready to go.
Eventually we all piled in and started the few-miles-long trek to the ocean.
I was the most excited about Charlotte, because she’s old enough to enjoy it this year and I couldn’t wait to see how she responded to the waves and wet sand.
As we rode, we kept an eye on the sky.
It wasn’t looking ideal.
Still, we pressed on.
As we neared the spot where we park our bikes, a light drizzle started. Nobody acknowledged it, I think in an attempt to pretend it was actually a gorgeous day.
We unloaded, started setting up, and I put Charlotte’s arm floaties on her.
“Charlotte, want to go see the water?”
The rain was picking up, but I didn’t care. I had this in my mind and I was going to imagine it was ideal. She started walking, but after feeling the sand in her toes she lifted her arms to me and said, “Momma hold you.”
I picked her up and walked to where the water had dampened the sand. I set her down again and made a smily face so she would see that this is actually a sensation we pay good money for, so go ahead and get your feet dirty.
She stood for a second and then stepped forward, watching behind her as her feet made little imprints.
“Mommy! Mommy!” Abby and Ellie were running toward us, and in a flash they ran past and tucked themselves in the water.
It wasn’t a light drizzle anymore.
In a matter of seconds, it had turned to a cold, angry rain. It was pelting us, willing us to turn back, and yet we walked.
I lifted my rain-speckled sunglasses away from my eyes, turned my head in the opposite direction of the wind, and laughed at Charlotte so she would see that we thought this was funny, not scary. She smiled too and kept walking.
“Momma hold the hand.” I reached down and grabbed her tiny hand as our toes touched the cold water. It lapped up on her and immediately she turned as if she were going to run back, but curiosity got the better of her and she stayed. So we stood, shin-deep in the waves as the storm dripped down from the heavens.
Hair glued to my face, white sundress soaked over my swimsuit, lips salty from covering my mouth in laughter.
And that’s when it happened.
I turned, just for an instant to see if Todd was coming down the beach, and when I did, I noticed the most peculiar thing.
The beach was full of people. Hundreds of them.
And not a single one moved.
Umbrellas raised, conversations full, and children making sand figures.
And all the while, the bitter rain fell.
In fact, it got worse as I watched them. Occasionally a few would turn their heads from the direction it was blowing, but no towels were packed, no babies bundled.
They were unmoved.
How ridiculous.
Or so it seemed.
What would make an entire beach full of people brave a thunderstorm on a damp beach? Were they desperate for sunshine, and willing their minds to see it? Just unfeeling?
From your vantage point in this story, you can’t see what we could see.
The clouds, rolling quickly to the left, and just beyond, a patch of the bluest sky imaginable.
We knew it would pass, and in a matter of minutes.
I couldn’t help but think it did look ridiculous. Well, if you didn’t know what was coming, at least.
But we do.
This is temporary.
The news tells us buildings are swimming in fire and children are left alone to die.
The paycheck is just short of covering what we needed it to.
The goodbye lasted longer than our breath could carry us.
We feel the rain, and it is cold.
We thought it would be a beautiful day, but that isn’t always the way it goes here.
And yet, we remain unmoved.
To a watching world, it must seem crazy. I’m not saying I don’t understand. How could all of these people go on? Why not pack up and call it a day? Assume that we had been forsaken?
And here we are, the bride of Christ, facing the storm with a drenched smile.
Because we know what they might not.
And as they watch on, the best we can do is point to the blue sky, crawling closer every moment. We can tell them it will be worth it. It isn’t over.
Hold your breath if you have to.
Shield your face, if ever so slightly.
But don’t you dare move. It’s exquisite just around the corner. Not just a patch of sky, but hope itself.
They say it’s ridiculous, I’m sure.
But from my vantage point, it’s only a matter of time.
There is a definitive line in the sky, where dark cloud kisses white and weather succumbs to grace.
A seam between the ages.
A promise made, intended to be kept.
And always behind the storm, a voice whispers from eternity: It is worth the wait, love.
And so we remain, eyes soaked with tears and rain.
Believing beyond our momentary affliction that all-consuming glory is near.
It is so near, love.
Come, Lord Jesus...quickly.
(from angiesmithonline.com)
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
A Little Info on Hudson's Condition
The questions I am probably asked most often about Hudson's condition is "what is it called?" and "what does it mean?" so I thought I would post a little information on it that made the most sense to me when I was first learning about it. That way, people can specifically know what we are dealing with and how to pray for him.
Diseases of the Red Blood Cells:
The most common condition affecting the red blood cells is anemia, a lower-than-normal number of red cells in the blood. Anemia is accompanied by a decrease in the amount of hemoglobin present in the blood. Anemia symptoms — such as pale skin, weakness, and a fast heart rate — happen because of the blood's reduced capacity for carrying oxygen. Causes of anemia can be grouped into two categories: anemia caused by insufficient RBC production and anemia caused by RBCs being destroyed too soon. (Hudson has anemia caused by RBCs being destroyed too soon).
When red blood cells are destroyed more quickly than normal by disease (this process is called hemolysis, pronounced: hih-mah-luh-sus), the bone marrow will make up for it by increasing production of new red cells to take their place. But if RBCs are destroyed faster than they can be replaced, a person will develop anemia.
Hereditary spherocytosis (pronounced: sfeer-o-sye-toe-sus). In this inherited condition, RBCs are misshapen (like tiny spheres, instead of disks) and especially fragile because of a genetic problem with a protein in the structure of the red blood cell. This fragility causes the cells to be easily destroyed.
An interesting thing about blood is that blood cells and some of the special proteins blood contains can be replaced or supplemented by giving a person blood from someone else. This process is called a transfusion. In addition to receiving whole-blood transfusions, people can also receive transfusions of a particular component of blood that they need. For example, someone can receive only platelets, red blood cells, or a clotting factor. When people donate blood, the whole blood can be separated into its different parts and used in this way.
It is so interesting to me just how unknown this disorder really is. I had never even heard of it until we started dealing with it with Hudson. Even though Wes had this same disorder, we had no idea what it was called or any real details about it. I wanted to learn as much about it as I could so I went to the library to look up some books on it. And I they did not have one single book on it!! Weird, huh? The Internet has been useful to some degree, but the Internet is also notorious for giving information that seems scary or isn't completely true or well-explained. So the best way I have learned things is to ask, ask, ask when we see a doctor. I still have a lot of questions and curiosity about this disorder that will just take time for me to feel more comfortable with.
Thank you for taking the time to pray for our Hudson and check in on him. I hope this post helped you learn a little but more about him.
Diseases of the Red Blood Cells:
The most common condition affecting the red blood cells is anemia, a lower-than-normal number of red cells in the blood. Anemia is accompanied by a decrease in the amount of hemoglobin present in the blood. Anemia symptoms — such as pale skin, weakness, and a fast heart rate — happen because of the blood's reduced capacity for carrying oxygen. Causes of anemia can be grouped into two categories: anemia caused by insufficient RBC production and anemia caused by RBCs being destroyed too soon. (Hudson has anemia caused by RBCs being destroyed too soon).
When red blood cells are destroyed more quickly than normal by disease (this process is called hemolysis, pronounced: hih-mah-luh-sus), the bone marrow will make up for it by increasing production of new red cells to take their place. But if RBCs are destroyed faster than they can be replaced, a person will develop anemia.
Hereditary spherocytosis (pronounced: sfeer-o-sye-toe-sus). In this inherited condition, RBCs are misshapen (like tiny spheres, instead of disks) and especially fragile because of a genetic problem with a protein in the structure of the red blood cell. This fragility causes the cells to be easily destroyed.
An interesting thing about blood is that blood cells and some of the special proteins blood contains can be replaced or supplemented by giving a person blood from someone else. This process is called a transfusion. In addition to receiving whole-blood transfusions, people can also receive transfusions of a particular component of blood that they need. For example, someone can receive only platelets, red blood cells, or a clotting factor. When people donate blood, the whole blood can be separated into its different parts and used in this way.
It is so interesting to me just how unknown this disorder really is. I had never even heard of it until we started dealing with it with Hudson. Even though Wes had this same disorder, we had no idea what it was called or any real details about it. I wanted to learn as much about it as I could so I went to the library to look up some books on it. And I they did not have one single book on it!! Weird, huh? The Internet has been useful to some degree, but the Internet is also notorious for giving information that seems scary or isn't completely true or well-explained. So the best way I have learned things is to ask, ask, ask when we see a doctor. I still have a lot of questions and curiosity about this disorder that will just take time for me to feel more comfortable with.
Thank you for taking the time to pray for our Hudson and check in on him. I hope this post helped you learn a little but more about him.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Joy Comes in the Morning
This is literally what happened to me this morning, bright and early. God filled my heart up with pure joy. Just like every other appointment I make to get Hudson's blood count checked, I got the earliest appointment they have- 7:45. You may think that's crazy to be at Children's hospital at 7:45 in the morning but let me remind you I am the mother of a newborn and a 5 year old early bird. The other reason we like that early appointment time is because if the results are not-so-great then we can head over to the infusion clinic to get a blood transfusion without having to come back the next day. I am getting to be such a pro that I pack extra bottles, blankets, and snacks for big brother to leave in the car just in case it ends up being an all day visit. I wasn't expecting BAD results today really, because usually at the two week mark after a transfusion Hudson's blood count isn't necessarily GREAT but usually isn't low enough to warrant another transfusion THAT quickly. I was expecting his number to be around an 8. Double digit blood count numbers would be a dream come true but something we were told would probably never be the norm for Huddie. A normal baby of his age has a red blood cell count of 9-14 and they generally transfuse when it drops past 8. So I was okay with getting an 8 because it meant we were transfusion-free for about another week. In fact, every night we pray together as a family- Wes, Brian, Huddie, and me- and Wes prayed that the results would be good but that we would just be prepared and at peace for whatever the results may be. Well, this Mama had been praying something a little differently on my own. I asked God to not only give us good results but results that were better than they'd ever been. But in my heart I also knew that if they weren't, that was okay. At least we had doctors who were monitoring him closely and we would just get through another transfusion. But when we got there this morning, I should have known this day was going to be different. First off, Hudson didn't cry one single bit when he got his blood drawn- first time that's ever happened! He actually coo'd at the nurse when he finished. Then, we actually got our results much quicker than usual. When the nurse came out and said "Hudson?" I immediately jumped up and started towards her. But then she told me to sit back down that she would come to me. Dun dun dun. She had a HUGE smile on her face as she showed me the usually dreaded circled number- a 10!! My heart lept out of my chest! She said that he was holding onto his blood so much better. I thanked her about 75 times and then immediately turned to my mom and told her about my prayer. Hudson's RBC count had NEVER been that high that long after a transfusion. The only other time he had a double-digit number was after his first transfusion. But even them they checked it only FIVE days later (not 2 weeks like this time) so it was expected to be high. My mom and I stood in front of the elevators and had chills up and down our arms at how God had answered my prayer. Even Brian fist pumped at the good news. I was prepared and at peace to have to make that dreaded walk to get the IV going but God chose to bless us today in a different way. Yes, I've actually come to even feel blessed with a transfusion because it is God's way of helping our baby. Maybe He was just waiting for me to get to that point.
So tonight I will lay my head down and thank the Lord again for all his blessings He literally pours out to us each day. And I will continue to be bolder in my prayers, asking specifically for things. I have walked around all day with a smile that you couldn't slap off my face :) Pure joy.
So tonight I will lay my head down and thank the Lord again for all his blessings He literally pours out to us each day. And I will continue to be bolder in my prayers, asking specifically for things. I have walked around all day with a smile that you couldn't slap off my face :) Pure joy.
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