Heavy Loads

Today is one of those days when I woke up feeling like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I just feel "off" inside today. Outside I feel tired. I am so thankful for my life and the people I get to share it with. But some days the negativity of life just gets to me. People get to me. I wish so much that I was one of those people who can just roll with the punches and not allow anyone to affect me. But unfortunately, that is another struggle of mine. I always seem to put so much faith in people and it always feel like a punch in the gut when I feel let down by them. Are there any more genuine people in the world? People that will let you see the real them and love you for the real you in return? Sometimes everything and everyone seems so fake.  People are willing to say anything about you just to have something to talk about. Why do they do that? Does it make them feel better about themselves? Is it a response to their own unhappiness? I would rather have zero friends than friends who aren't really friends at all. I would rather fight a physical battle than for someone to twist my words and say untrue things about me.  What do people gain from hurting others? Is it worth the damage they cause to someone's heart just to be able to sit down and have something juicy to gossip about? Do they think if they make others look bad that they will somehow look better? Is it worse to have people you don't know talk bad about you or people who you thought really knew you say those things?

I know there will be struggles in this life, Lord. You said that in the bible. And more than not, I feel strong enough to handle the struggles that life slings. But there are days when i just get sad. Sad that in this world there are so many people I would claim as "friends" who really don't fit the description when it comes down to it. 

Please forgive me for the times in the past when I have been quick to judge another person before I have taken the time to get to know them and their journey. Most of the time what I was inclined to think about them is the furthest thing from the truth. I would rather be remembered for loving people through their mistakes and failures instead of having a good seat at the latest table of gossip.