Getting Even

As I'm continuing to think about the different struggles I'm facing right now in my life, I realize that I often feel the desire to take things into my own hands and get even with people who have hurt me or someone I love.

I don't mean get even by physically harming them or anything like that. What it usually means to me is thinking of things that I could say to them that would make them feel as bad as they've made me feel. Words sting. And sometimes it is so tempting to sting back. There is something about needing a quick reponse back that my human nature wants a lot of the time.  How satisfying, it seems, if I could post a Facebook status about them. Or tell as many people as I can how horrible this person is and how I've been so wronged. And how easy is doing that these days? With texting and the internet, getting even would be just a couple of clicks away.

To be completely honest, I have felt this way more than I would like to admit over the past few months. I know this is not what God wants from me. My heart knows that but my head still wants word

revenge. So I've started a new bible reading plan about working through anger to help me learn exactly what God says about anger and what I can do about it. I don't want to be consistently angry or bitter or hurt because of someone who is probably angry, bitter and hurt themselves. And I know it is the opposite of how God wants me to be. 

I read tonight that it is not my place to punish someone else for doing wrong- even if it is directed towards me. I also read that I shouldn't let myself get so angry that it causes me to want to do evil- you know, get even. It's not my place. It's God's. Letting someone else's actions or words stir up bitterness and anger in my heart is probably exactly what they wanted to happen. And it just causes a greater hurt to me than the words or actions caused in the first place. It causes me to pull away from God and dwell on my situation and my anger.  Sometimes I feel like not allowing myself to get angry shows that I am not acknowledging the hurt that was caused to me or even more so to someone I love. But that isn't a true feeling. It's okay to feel anger over something being wrong, it's just not okay to let it fester and build into bitterness that takes over your heart. I don't want bitterness to take root so deep in my heart that I can't feel or see anything else. 

God, forgive me for the times when I want to take over your job and do the punishing I feel like is deserved. Help me to offer the same grace and forgiveness to the people that hurt me that you have offered to me, even if it is difficult at first. Even when it doesn't feel good.  I know that if I am obedient to you that my feelings will follow. 

The Final Frontier

Well, today is the last day of the detox part of the Daniel Plan way of eating we've started.  For 10 days now, we've had no sugar at all except for the natural sugar in our fruit, nothing processed, no dairy, and no wheat or gluten of any kind.  If I am being totally honest, I will admit that the first 2 days were hard for me.  I think it was more of a mental thing.  I would cringe when I would see a McDonald's commercial because I wanted it and I NEVER eat at McDonald's!!!  I think it was the whole "you want what you can't have" mentality.  I prayed a lot that God would give me HIS strength to do this because I really, truly wanted to make this lifestyle change.  My mom and one of her sisters have been having some scary heart issues lately and have been doing all kinds of tests and seeing a cardiologist. While some of the stuff is hereditary, I knew that really paying attention to everything that goes into my body would help me avoid a lot of health issues down the road.  This was our main motivation in doing this: to feel better and be healthier.  It is also really important for us to instill this way of living in Brian and Hudson.

So here I am.  10 days into this new life and completely detoxed :)  I feel great.  I used to wake up every morning with a sort of "heaviness"- mental, physical and emotional.  That is really the only way I know how to explain it.  I would be more tired and less motivated some days when I woke up than when I went to bed.  I hated it.  I have always tried to cook really healthy, but I never really looked into every single thing that we consumed.  And when I learned how to do that, it was pretty scary to me.  Over the past 10 days, I have had quite a few symptoms from detoxing; insomnia, aching, headaches.  But then around day 5 I started feeling a way that I hadn't felt in years- clear- headed, energized, rested. My skin was softer and the swelling I have a lot in my legs was gone, too. Anything that I thought was difficult about this has been 100% worth it.  Even though the detox is over, this plan is going to keep going the way it has with the exception of getting to have some dairy (natural cheese, yogurt) and natural sugar (honey, agave, coconut sugar).  I am more than ready to add those things in occasionally.  Oh, cheese, how I've missed you!

Now I'm really going to get honest. The one thing that has made this different for me is that my main motivation for doing this has not been to lose weight.  For my entire adult life, I have struggled a lot with body image.  I can't tell you where it came from or exactly when it started, but it has been something that I have to actively fight all the time.  I know of things that have contributed to me feeling this way, but not why it caused it to become such a focus for me.  I have always been so negative about my physical appearance.  It is like I see a completely different version of myself when I look in the mirror.  It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized that if I don't have my mom or Wes around when I buy clothes, I will always buy everything one or two sizes bigger than I actually am because I truly think that is what size I need.  I still try to do that sometimes and Wes calls me out on it.  I always would think "if I could lose just 20 pounds, I would be completely happy with my weight."  But that wasn't really true.

Back in late 2010, I went on the HCG diet under direction of my doctor.  While I wasn't really a lot over my healthy weight, my doctor thought it would reset my system and help me to lose the weight that I had been trying to on my own.  He also thought it might allow me to reduce my blood pressure medication.  I have had extremely high blood pressure since age 22.  I have done every test possible to find the cause and they were all inconclusive.  My goal for the HCG diet was to lose 20 pounds.  Then I would be at what doctors call your "ideal weight" for my height.  I dropped 22 pounds in a month.  It was NOT easy.  All I had was 500 calories a day.  I think because it was so difficult for me, that is why 3 years later I have not gained a pound back.  I was really proud f myself for doing it and I was able to cut back on my medication.  However, deep down MY main reason for doing it wasn't for my health.  It was to lose weight and look better.  And even after losing 22 pounds which I thought was all I wanted, I  wanted to lose more.  It was almost like an obsession for me.  I tried to do another round of HCG on my own but my body would not budge from the weight I had gotten to before.  My doctor said when your body reaches its ideal weight, it likes to stay there.  The 2nd round of the diet was just making me weak and moody, so I stopped.  But I still weighed myself almost daily because I refused to gain a single pound over what I was. 

When I got pregnant with Hudson, I had a little anxiety about gaining weight.  I was really, really healthy with my pregnancy with Brian and only gained 15 pounds.  I wanted to be healthy for Hudson, too.  I was a lot more relaxed about what I ate with Hudson and allowed myself to have a lot of treats (sweets) but still only gained about 20 pounds.  After Huddie was born and was so sick, I literally dropped every single pound of baby weight within a week of having him.  I was just sick with worry and hardly ate at all.  I have stayed at that same weight since.  Like I said, my body likes it I guess. Now, most days I don't even think about my weight or the scale, but there are some days when I "feel" fat or get the urge to step on the scale and I have to fight back with the knowledge that my weight isn't who I am.  And that can be so hard sometimes.  It is a process that gets easier as time goes by.

Even though I know that we will probably lose some weight with this new way of eating, for the first time that is NOT what I'm focused on.  And I truly think that is one reason that has made such a difference in the way I've felt.  I would be lying if I said that losing a few pounds wouldn't be great.  But I am not obsessing over the scale anymore.  I am judging my success more on how good I feel.  The weight is just a bonus to me.  For the first time in my life, I am tracking calories to make sure I get enough of what I need instead of as a warning to eat less.  And I like that I can eat whenever I want because I know everything that I put in my mouth is going to be good for me, not something I'll regret later.    I honestly think I can keep this up for a lifetime.  Are there going to be some days every once in a while where we go out to eat with friends and we don't eat so clean? Sure.  Is there going to be a time when Brian wants to make cupcakes and I eat one?  Sure.  Are we going to go on vacation and eat what we want? Sure.  But what is different this time is that it isn't going to be the norm for us.  It will truly be a treat. And not a constant occurrence.

I'm not one to preach at people about their weight or their eating habits.  But if you are looking to feel better, please look into clean eating. Google it if you don't know what it is.  It doesn't have to be changing everything all at once like we did.  It can be that you replace one thing you eat a week.  And it doesn't have to be "The Daniel Plan" you follow.  There are so many free clean eating resources on the web that you could do it without buying any kind of book.  But it will be worth it.  It will completely change the way you look at food and yourself.  The Daniel Plan has helped me connect my physical health with my walk with God and that was the missing link in all my eating endeavors before.  I was doing it for purely selfish, superficial reasons.  This time, I am learning that it is my responsibility as a child of God to take care of my body because it is His temple.  I have not always honored God with my body.  I have not always taken care of it like I should have. And THAT is my motivation this time. With more energy and being healthy, I can be a better mom, wife, daughter and friend. 

A New Way of Eating

As a family, we decided to get healthier this new year.  Not to lose weight (although that is a nice bonus) but just to focus on our health and feel better.  We didn't really eat unhealthy to begin with, but we still had things in our diet that when it came down to it was just junk.  We also liked to eat out on the weekends.  We were pretty good at eating in moderation, but I started looking closely at labels and I was shocked.  A lot of things that you would think are supposed to be healthy really aren't.  For example, Hudson had some organic veggie crackers.  I looked at the ingredients after I started reading Rick Warren's "The Daniel Plan" book and I noticed that those "healthy" crackers had over 15 ingredients in them!  Some I couldn't even pronounce.  I started looking at all our labels and noticed that a lot of things have those kinds of ingredients.  I love to cook and I cook a lot from scratch, but even so, a lot of staple foods can have all that fake stuff if you aren't careful.  Another example is when I went to the store to buy corn tortillas, there was only ONE brand that had corn, lime and water as the ingredients.  Some of them had 10 weird ingredients! I started to really feel strongly about all these additives being bad for me.  Maybe that was contributing to me waking up every morning and still feeling tired. Or having a heavy feeling in my body.  Or all the headaches I have.  I could list more and more- muscle aches, bloating, canker sores.  I know a lot of my health issues were from me following the gluten-free diet I am supposed to be doing very lightly.  And by that, I mean eating something if I wanted it regardless of if it contained gluten or not.  I was very bad about that.  I didn't do it every day, but since I have been diagnosed with Celiac Disease after a biopsy, it is something that I shouldn't do at all.  Wes was on board with changing the way we eat too, so we decided to do it as a family.  I was pretty positive about staying off gluten this time since my entire family was going to do it with me.

Yesterday was our first day.  I had completely cleaned out my pantry and got rid of anything with junk (I was pretty excited that there were only two sacks full of it!).  Another part of the Daniel Plan is eliminating ALL sugar except natural sugar like raw honey or agave.  So out went all my baking supplies except my gluten-free flour.  I am not a doctor, but from what I have read, gluten isn't good for anyone, whether you have celiac disease or not.  So I am excited to get my kids gluten-free too.  We felt really good yesterday; didn't have any intense cravings or hunger, plenty of energy and motivation.  We had cage free scrambled eggs and fruit for breakfast, I made up a chicken fajita bowl for lunch (it was great!) with shredded chicken, black beans, bell peppers, quinoa and brown rice and Mexican seasonings.  For dinner we had thin pork chops with broccoli and mashed potatoes made with the homemade chicken stock that I had from our chicken from lunch.  I made lots of snack baggies of pre-measured almonds, cashews and raisins so if we started to get hungry, we'd have a snack right there.

I am starting to feel the effects of my body letting go of all that junk today.  Last night, I couldn't sleep at all.  I felt jittery.  And today I have felt very foggy and tired.  I know this is just my body's way of handling me getting rid of all the stuff that I have been eating for years and years.  I will be glad when this part is over!!!

Today, I had one serving of steel cut oats with a banana for breakfast.  For a snack I had some roasted almonds.  Lunch, I made guacamole and made my own baked chips with 2 corn tortillas in the oven.  We are having salmon for dinner.  I really haven't been starving yet which is surprising.  I guess it really is true that if you eat the right things, you stay full!

I know a lot of people are doing this plan too or one similar.  A lot of people start the new year off trying to be healthier.  I hope our journey helps!  Please share what you are doing!  It makes it so much easier to do this with others. 

My First Pinterest Post!

I got enough feedback that I'm going to start blogging about some of the things that I try on Pinterest.  I have to say, that although a little addicting, Pinterest has actually made my life a whole lot easier.  If I have pork chops and don't know what to do with them, I look on Pinterest for a recipe.  If I need to get a stain out of a shirt that is 5 years old, I look on Pinterest.  And if I want to plan something fun for Brian to do, again,  Pinterest.  But a lot of times when I pin something, I wonder if it is really as good, easy, and worth doing.  So this is my way of helping others by weeding out the hits and misses.
I will try to remember to label all these posts "Pinterest" just to make it easier to find them in the midst of my other blog posts.  Hope these are helpful!  Any feedback would be appreciated.  I am going to start by reviewing a breakfast and dinner recipe, side, dessert, and household tip.  I will refer to each item by the name of my Pinterest board that you can find it on.  You can find me on Pinterest at jessicapowell81.

Rise and Shine (breakfast foods)

CHEERIOS BREAKFAST COOKIES
I usually make Wes homemade granola bars for him to take to work for his breakfast.  I wanted to try to find something different for him, so I found these Cheerios Breakfast Cookies.  I had all the ingredients in my pantry so I decided to try them.  They were really good, easy and fast.  You could tweak some of the ingredients if you wanted (I used Honey Nut Cheerios instead of\ regular) and you could add in extras like nuts or raisins too.  Wes liked them and they stay soft in an airtight container.  If you are looking for a make-ahead breakfast that you can just grab in a hurry in the morning and will last a few days, this is a good one.

Supper Time (dinner)

BAKED TACOS
This is one of the first recipes I pinned on this board, and it is by far one of my favorites.  I make them at least once a month.  I have tweaked it a little bit for my personal preference from the original recipe.  Instead of mixing my own taco seasoning with the spices listed, I just usually use a packet of my favorite brand of taco seasoning.  Sometimes, I fill the tacos and bake like the recipe says and sometimes I just heat the shells and spoon the mixture in before eating each taco.  We like them both ways.  I have also used steamed corn tortillas with the mixture instead of baking.  Every way I have made these is good.  The key is the taco mixture which makes them delicious.  You could even do these with flour tortillas if you prefer.

On the Side (side items)

BACON WRAPPED GREEN BEAN BUNDLES
This is how I got my 6 year old to love green beans.  Seriously, these are delicious.  I would eat these without anything with them.  What is great is that I have made these with fresh green beans and frozen and they are both delicious.  And I use my Misto with olive oil in it to spray them before baking.  SO GOOD.  Definitely a keeper.

Sweet Treats (desserts)

BANANA PUDDING POKE CAKE
My mother in law makes a jello poke cake and we love it.  So when I came across this, I had to try it.  I actually made it as a Thanksgiving dessert and it was a hit.  It is super easy and the longer it sets in the fridge, the better it tastes.  I would recommend adding the crushed vanilla wafers and banana slices to each individual piece as you cut it to serve, or otherwise you have soggy wafer topping and brown bananas.  You have to try this!!!  It is really easy to make gluten-free too just by using a gluten-free cake mix and gluten-free vanilla wafers.  It is even good without the vanilla wafers!

Home Sweet Home (household tips)

DISH SOAP, VINEGAR CLEANER
I will say that I use nothing else but this now for cleaning my bathtubs, shower, and sinks.  I love it.  It makes everything look so shiny and clean and it is so easy.  The pin suggests putting it into a dish scrubber and I did that and it make it even easier.  Seriously, it works great.  I like that I know what is in my cleaner and that it is super cheap to make. 


If you see anything on my pinterest board that you would like to know if I've tried (I probably have) then leave a comment or facebook me or email me at Jessicampowell81@gmail.com and I will let you know how it was.  Enjoy!

I hope this is the only post you ever read of mine

I usually do not post things like that post that I am about to write on my blog.  Usually, my blog is to keep everyone update on what's going on with our family or to share things that I am learning in my life.  But I feel like this post is something that is really important to share and that maybe someone in Blogland needs to hear it.

If there is one thing that I can say about my life is that I have been through many changes.  Good things, bad things, hard things, happy things.  But the one thing I can say is that nothing in my life would have ANY value without Jesus.  I've tried doing life without giving much regard to God.  I went through a time when I thought I was doing okay on my own.  I have never turned my back on Him, but have put him last on my priority list.  Folks, let me tell you something.  You cannot compare life without Jesus to life with Him. And I'm not talking about going to church most of the time or saying you're a Christian when someone asks you, I'm talking about life WITH Him. Having a relationship with Him.  Making Him a priority.  Reading His word.  Talking to Him.  I look back at my life and the times when I distanced myself from God and it literally makes me sick to my stomach to think about it.  I know if a day goes by now that I am too "wrapped up" in something that seems important that it causes me not to spend time with him, I feel lonely.  I feel a longing inside to be with Him.  And that drives me to spend time with Him everyday.  I know what it is like to try to find happiness in this world.  Through other people, through your job, through having nice things.  It still all leaves you feeling unfulfilled.  There is still always something missing.  Because there is not a single person in this world that can fill the void in your heart and soul that is meant for Jesus.  I promise you.  People will always let you down.  This world will always let you down.  He will NEVER let you down.  Although I chose to follow Jesus when I was a child, I am at a point in my life where I have never felt closer to Him.  And it has changed my perspective on things that I never really gave much thought to before.  It makes me view the world differently.  Our world seems so broken now.  I look at people who are in the same places I have been before and just want to tell them to stop fighting the one thing that will change their life forever.  They don't have to keep feeling let down, or discouraged, or disappointed.  All you have to do is reach out to Him because His hand is ALWAYS extended to you.  And its not about raising your hand at church or following strict rules or giving up things.  I think that is a huge misconception about God.  That following Him means giving up things.  Things that you enjoy.  But I am here to tell you that when you choose to completely give your life to Him, you will find how those things you "loved" pale in comparison to what He gives you.  You WANT to do things for Him.  He doesn't make you.  You CHOOSE to give up things because He is changing your heart.  There is so much freedom in knowing that He loves you so much just the way you are- dirty, broken, sinful - that He would still send His son to die for you.  It isn't something you have to earn or spend your life "paying Him back" for what He has done for you.  It is just grace.  I spent a lot of my life thinking I had to live a certain way to deserve the gift of salvation but that couldn't be further from the truth.  And there are still times when I get discouraged about parts of my life that I wish were different.  But then I look back at the way God has changed my heart and life and I can see that He is changing me into being more like Jesus.  And I am so thankful for that.  I am so thankful that I don't have to be who I was but that I can become who He is.

So please, stop looking.  Stop trying so hard to please people.  Stop trying so hard to find happiness on your own.  This world cannot offer you any of that.  But God can offer you everything.  He will never leave you.  He is always there.  That doesn't mean that your life will magically change and you will never have a care in the world.  It means that when life is hard, He will be there to carry you.  He will help you overcome it.  He will lead you through it.  So if you haven't met Jesus yet, do it.  Just reach out to Him.  I promise you it will be the best thing you will ever do.  Go to Him dirty- He will clean you up.  Go to Him broken- He will put you back together in a new way. 

When I think about how unworthy I am in the eyes of God, I remember that when God looks at me, He sees Jesus.  And because of that I am loved completely.

Don't waste another second.

A Letter to Brian on His First Day of Kindergarten

On the night before your first day of kindergarten, Brian, I thought I would put together a little list of helpful advice.  I know that it will be many, many years before you will probably ever think of your mama as "wise" but I promise you that the advice I am going to give you is from my heart.  And writing this post is probably more like therapy for me, anyway.  I am not gonna lie- I am having a hard time knowing you are growing up.  You will understand one day.  So here are 5 tips for your first big year of school:


Tip #1 - Always smile at your teacher when you walk through the door every morning.  Teachers are people too (yes, really) and sometimes they get sad, angry or sick.  Just like you.  A smile on the face of their students can sometimes turn their entire day around and pick them up.  Just like that.  I know, because I used to be a teacher myself.  I know you have heard me say many times about how I used to teach when you were still in my tummy (Math was your favorite subject then.  Well, you sure moved around the most when I would teach math.  So even if you think you hate it now, just remember that it used to be your favorite).   And giving your teacher a hug every now and again, just because, can also do wonders.  It reminds them of how special they are and how what they do everyday makes such a big difference, even if it doesn't always feel that way.

Tip #2 - Be friends with everyone.  I think this will be really easy for you because you have always been this way since you were a little guy, but I just wanted to remind you anyway.  Always be willing to help someone, even if you don't really want to.  Never forget to include someone when you are playing.  Someday, you might be the one who gets left out and it doesn't feel good.  Always be polite- that will go a long way. Share.  Play something you might not like.  Let someone else have their turn before you.  Don't make fun of others or join along because someone else is.  It might be hard sometimes, but  I promise you that Jesus will help you do these things if you just ask Him.  Don't be friends with someone just because of how they look on the outside.  Get to know them and see what is on the inside first.  Most importantly, always be yourself around others because they won't be able to stay away from you if you do.  Trust me, you are the coolest kid I know and I always want to be around you.

Tip #3 - Don't forget your manners.  Always say "please" and "thank you" and "yes, ma'am" and "yes, sir."  Always open the door for girls.  Compliment your teacher.  Tell someone they did a good job.  Clap for someone when they succeed at something.  Be an encourager.

Tip #4 - Eat all of your lunch.  You might be too excited to eat or you might not really like what I packed you.  But you are going to be at school longer than you've ever been (and knowing you, it will seem like forever) and if you don't eat, you are going to be starving.  And Tip #4B - Rubbing your tummy as a "secret sign" that you are hungry will not work with your teacher like it works with me.  She is going to be more concerned about teaching you to read then finding you some Cheez-Its.

Tip #5 - Know when to keep quiet.  This isn't to sound mean but, my friend, you come from a long line of talkers (trust me, I've seen your Ninny's report cards).  Don't be a mute like your mom was in school and hardly ever say a word, but choose your time to talk wisely.  Do it at recess or after you've raised your hand and your teacher calls on you.  Or if you are in a group working on something.  But don't do it when you are supposed to be working.  I promise you can talk my legs off as soon as I pick you up from school.  Just put a lit on it until then :) And try to keep the entertaining to a minimum.  Yes, you are VERY entertaining, but entertaining during school hours might not earn you the applause you are looking for!

There are so many other words of wisdom that I could tell you about, Brian.  And little secrets, too.  Like how I am sure that there will be days when your brother will destroy your room while you are gone, but how I promise I will fix it and you won't even know it happened.  Or how tomorrow morning when I am taking pictures of you and pumping you up for your first day, I will be trying really hard not to cry because my baby boy is growing up.  You will never have another first day of kindergarten again and I plan on soaking up every bit of it.  And when I drop you off at your classroom door and kiss you and hug you and tell you to have a good day?  I can assure you that there will be a gigantic knot in my throat the size of Texas.  And even though I'll be able to go home and do some things around the house and maybe even just enjoy some quiet time, I will looking at the clock all day and counting down the minutes to come get you. Because I know this will be a lot harder on me than it is on you.  And I will feel like a kid at Christmas whenever I see your smiling face and get to hear all about your wonderful day. 

I hope you have the best first day of school ever, Brian Joshua!  And if I am smart, I will start writing my list of advice to you for high school now because I am sure that it is going to be much longer than this one.

Meltdown City, USA

I know what I am about to write about is something that every parent has to deal with in their life.   I know that I am not the only one to have to go through it.  And yet, just the thought of it makes me want to take a trip to Meltdown City.  Why, you ask?  Because in exactly a week from today, Brian starts kindergarten.

Is this his first time to be away from me and go to school? Nope.  So why I am so berserk? Because he will be gone all.day.long.  Brian has a very late summer birthday, so because of his young age, I wanted him to do pre-k twice.  Now, he is closer to the same age as the other kiddos and this will put him at graduating when he is 18, not 17.  I didn't want him to struggle in school because he was so young and I didn't want him to end up being the last one of his friends to be able to do things like drive a car and date.  Wait, yes I do want him to be the last one of his friends to date.  Which should be no problem since he will be 30 when I allow that to happen.  Anyway, making that decision was great for him.  He is excelling at school, is already reading quite a bit, and had an extra year to get a little more mature.  But it kinda spoiled me to the whole two-hours-at-school thing.  He got to go to school and then be with me for the rest of the day.  For TWO years.  And now, come Monday, he will be gone all day.  I think it is going to be wonderful for him.  He is Mr. Social Butterfly and is going to love being around kids his age all day. He is going to finally get to eat in the cafeteria and go to gym and music. But what am I going to do with myself while he's doing all this?

Hudson and I are going to have a lot of time together, just the two of us.  But, boy, are we going to miss our bubba.  It is going to take some major adjusting for the both of us.  There are times during the day now when both kids are being as loud and ornery as they can possibly be and I will think, "Man, a little peace and quiet sure would be nice."  But then in that rare moment when they are both gone and I am alone, all I do is wish they were back making noise.  I miss them so bad. 

I'm pretty sure that I will be a basket case on Monday morning.  Wes has a dentist appointment and is taking a half day so he will get to go with me to drop Brian off on his first day.  I am sure that will be the only thing keeping me in line because I know that if I bawl and cause too big of a scene that Wes will make fun of me for the rest of our lives.  But you can bet I will have my camera in tow and some Kleenex stuffed in my purse.  It's moments like these that are so, so precious but make the reality that Brian is growing up even more obvious.  I am so proud of him and the young man he is becoming but I just want to treasure every single moment and milestone he has while he is still little and actually doesn't get embarrassed by his mom :)  And then I'm going to have to do it all over again with Hudson.  Waaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!! :(

First First Day of Pre-K - 2011

He had only been 4 for 2 weeks.  Look at those cute little baby fat cheeks...

 

 

 

Second First Day of Pre-K - 2012

He gained a baby brother that year and lost some of that baby fat...