Wrestling with My Flesh

Have you ever had a day where something happened and your first instinct was to be ugly about it?  I mean make a smart remark, ridicule, lose your temper, etc?  This happened to me today and 2 things happened.  #1, my first instinct was becoming angry.  I could literally feel it rising up in my body.  If I had been 2 years old, I would have thrown myself on the floor and had a little fit.  In my mind, I was thinking all of these negative, angry, not nice thoughts.  And #2, I got convicted.  Convicted by the idea that I wanted to let myself have free reign with my emotions, even when they weren't pretty.  I am so glad for times like this when God shows me where I am wrong before I open my mouth or act on my feelings.  Is it okay to be angry?  Yes.  Is it okay to allow your anger to consume you or give you an excuse to act in a way which is completely opposite of the person you are here on earth to represent with your life?  Absolutely not.

There are so many times in my life when I react to something based on what I know about it or (more often) what I THINK I know about the situation.  The thing is, I do NOT know everything.  Really, I don't know much of anything.  But God does.  I might be dumbfounded at something that is happening around me but God isn't.  He already knows the outcome.  Something that I might find to be completely absurd or ridiculous might actually be God's plan in disguise.  God has a way of making His plans out of the most extraordinary of situations.  And because my simple little human mind can't comprehend His ways, I often miss out on watching His plan unfold.  For once I would love to begin to search for God within a difficult situation (before it really even starts actually) instead of looking back when it's over and saying, "Look what God did in THAT."  I want to be in anticipation of what He CAN and WILL do instead of being Miss Negativity and looking for ways that it isn't going the way I think it should.

Wrestling with your flesh is exhausting :)  I am so glad that it isn't something I have to do on my own.  Because if I did, I would have already been deemed a failure back on March 6, 1981.   Thank Jesus He does it for me and all I have to do is ask for help.

My prayer today is that God will use this new event to show everyone (me, me, me!) just another example of how awesome and creative He is.  And how He always, always, always works things out for the good of those who love Him.